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Finally, I won a shirt on Feb 24, 2003.

Try your hand at the comedy-writing craft in our weekly Top Ten Contest. If your joke makes our Top Ten, you'll win a handsome Late Show Online T-shirt.

Top Ten Least Useful Superhero Powers

10. The ability to communicate with mimes
Dane D., Cliffside Park, NJ

9. Ability to distinguish "CSI" from "CSI: Miami"
Andre D., Los Angeles, CA

8. Super ability to always pick just the right gift
Christopher J., Staten Island, NY

7. Can transform a $10 bill into a $5 bill and five singles
Robert B., St. Louis, MO

6. Super collating skills
Michael S., Philadelphia, PA

5. The ability to pause live TV
Josh L., Parsippany, NJ

4. Ability to stop terrorist attacks with duct tape and plastic sheeting
Dan P., South Portland, ME

3. Able to leap Oprah in a single bound
Paul D., Dalton

2. The ability to transform yourself from a nondescript black teenager to a world renown white freak in less than 20 years
Peet M., Aberdeen, Scotland

1. France (oops, I thought you said Least Useful Superpower)
Andy W., Burbank, CA